saw a NS man walk past me at the mrt station.
suddenly thought of you.
wanted to msg, to ask, as a friend,
to check how are you,
how are uni applications.
somehow didnt dare to.
maybe its cause i didnt feel like i was in the position to msg.
maybe its cause i didnt really feel the need to knock myself
off the equilibrium i finally managed to reach.
no need to make myself randomly upset and in the end
upsetting other ppl as well.
plus, i was afraid you wouldnt reply,
or reply with a nonchalent tone, and somehow it might affect me again.
now its as if we are strangers again.
i feel more comfortable msging a stranger than to type out a msg to you,
and successfully press the 'send' button.
amazing isnt it. how people can become strangers so easily.
trying hard to pretend the person never existed.
or trying hard to avoid meeting the person again for various reasons.
not that im emoing.
this is just a random thinking session...
just felt crushed that even after so long,
i still find it a struggle to ask a simple 'how are you'.
